Dreams that empower #childerensday

Dreams that empower #childerensday

I was watching the movie, Helicopter Eela, with my son today and this song at the climax has somehow stuck in my head.

Yeh dil hai mera ya hai,

Ikk yaadon ki almari.

Iss almari mein rakkhi hai maine,

Apni ye duniya saari!

 As parents, our lives are so much around our kids. Isn’t it? So much so, that we end up Helicopter Parenting sometimes. I have been a dreamer all my life. When I was young, I secretly wanted to train as a professional Kathak dancer. May be, my dreams weren’t strong enough for me to become what I aspired to. And then I got into a trap. I wanted my kids to fulfil our incomplete dreams. Same dreams, different individuals. “Unfair!!” you may yell! Even I realise it as I glance back. But, it’s one of the most organic traps that parents keep falling into. I recall my dream of what my child would become kept changing with my experiences. When I was a software engineer with Bharat Electronics, there would be men in uniform who would sometimes visit to see the software we wrote. I so wanted my son to be an Air Force officer someday. While I changed gears and got into recruitment, The Big 4s were offering plump packages to Chartered Accountants. That’s when I thought how cool it would be if my son also becomes a CA when he grows up. We mollycoddle them so much that after a while all this care seems suffocating for them. And when reality sets in, as a parent, my expectations aren’t about a decorated uniform or glamorous job titles any more.. This is what I have learnt in my 11 years parenting journey. Now when I look at my son who thinks “Dad understands him better than mom, because they both are boys” or my little daughter who would start schooling from next April and is “Papa’s Princess” I want both of the do achieve these dreams in their life as an adult.

  1. Have a healthy lifestyle

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Everything has a right age, the metabolic rate, stamina, digestion power everything changes with time. I want my kids to understand it sooner and adapt a healthy lifestyle. It’s not that they should restrict themselves from occasional partying and binge eating, but exercise, meditation and good eating habits should make up for most of their life. It is unlikely with our routine driven life that they will ever get 6 pack abs. Honestly, my definition of good health has never been that. But someday, when the elevator is broken, there should be readiness to climb up those 13 floors by stairs. They should be able to ascend Mata Vaishno Devi shrine without wanting a need of Pithhu or Palki.

 

  1. It is okay to be bored sometimes!

‘Life is an adventure.’ ‘Keep your brain busy all the time.’ ‘An empty mind is Devil’s workshop!’ We have been bombarded by such theories since the day that we are born. Creativity culminates when the mind has been on a break. It is okay to pull over the vehicle and admire the sunset. Nobody is going to acknowledge the personal record of driving quickest from Agra to Noida. There is something known as ‘joy of doing nothing’. Lie down on the grass. Stare at the sky. See the birds fly past. And let the time pass. That’s when the brain actually takes a break.

 

  1. Always be empathetic

Empathy is not a trait. Unlike Intelligence. Empathy is a virtue. I would always want my kids to be empathetic towards people and animals. Value relationships and humans more than materialistic things. This reminds me of an unlikely story of a 3-year-old girl who scratched her dad’s brand new car that sent her father in mad fury. Only a closer look revealed that she had drawn a heart with ‘I love you Dad’ scribbled inside it! There is no point fussing over something that can be repaired and of course, there is no point at all in fussing over unrepairable thing as well, so rather than things, people should matter.

 

  1. Believe in gratitude

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Gratitude is the way to live life, the more thankful we are for what we have, God gives us more reasons to Thank again, is my and my husband’s motto of life and I surely want my kids to follow the same. The more we give is more we get, is applicable with gratitude also. My husband’s regular lines to my son are, ‘Ever tried to live a day in life of a child beggar?’. This almost everytime ends with a value lesson that we should be thankful for the gifts that we have, rather than feeling sorry about those that we don’t! Every day might not be the best day but there is always one good thing in every day, is what I want my kids to understand and acknowledge. Be Thankful for what you have.

 

  1. Have Vision to Dream and Power to make them reality

To have specific goals or dreams need lot of self-confidence, and fulfil them goes lot of hard work, sacrifice, planning and numerous skills like leadership, alliance, management.

As a parent we must give freedom to kids to plan small activities for themselves like planning to complete their own school projects, do small banking chores, manage money, understand and handle pressure with friends and peers, they won’t be self-reliant.

 

  1. Find True Love

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Love has immense power, love can make us fly, give strength to wings, give us confidence of achieving dreams, helps us stand even in adverse conditions. Without true love life is nothing. True love happens only when one or both the people are ready to take the story ahead. I urge to my kids to never be wary of taking the story ahead. Take the next step. I wish they both find their soulmate with whom they can share their lives. The way I have found their dad. Love makes life beautiful.

 

I know they won’t do most of these things suddenly one morning, we as a parent have to lead by example. And we are on the right path, that gives us confidence as parents that the dreams we have for our kids will be fulfilled by God’s Grace, if they practice and fulfill these dreams, as parents we are sure they might or might not be rich with money but they surely will be happy and good human beings!!!!! 

I have come across a great blog on How parents can contribute to overall development of kids, you can check this too.

“The Children’s Day blog train is hosted by www.prernawahi.com and www.vartikasdiary.com”. 

This Post Has 41 Comments

  1. aakanksha

    Oh wow. It seemed as if someone is writing my mind. After 35 odd years of seeing a lot of highs and lows in life this is exactly what I will tell my kids too. And yes I totally agree when you say that we need to lead by example. Lovely post dear.

    1. Gurjeet Chhabra

      I want my kids to learn from their failure and success ,yes we can guide them but can’t command them.

  2. Dr. Surbhi Prapanna

    Loved the post Ujjwal and could co relate with this so well. I know, as a parent we always had higher sets of expectations from our kids but practically, it is not possible that our kids lives our dreams..you had suggested really great points and I am sure all parents would love to cultivate these in their kids.

  3. Arushi

    I loved this post, Ujjwal. Rather than setting high expectations you have given some great advice. These dreams are the ones I have for my little one so I know they come straight from the heart of a mother who only wants the best for herchildren.

  4. alpanadeo

    Yes, we often see our children fulfilling our dreams but that is not fair. The way we lived our dreams, they have all the rights to live their. We should be there to guide them, help them and encourage them and not drawing their path.

  5. Childcarestar

    Life is an adventure , well said, we often forget this as we get busy in our responsibilities, but to live life in the best way, one should dance as no one is watching, and about healthy lifestyle, no one could sum up better than the way you described the importance of health, importance of relationships, value of gratitude, true love, dreams, all points well taken, must say your kids are lucky to have as their parent. Good luck to kiddos and to you as well- Mittali

  6. Great post😍You have very beautifully incorporated the need for gratitude,love,being responsible and above all the need to dream and become good human beings..Lovely post..

  7. nooranandchawla

    Very sane and relevant advice Ujjwal. I particularly like the fact that you ended by saying that parents must lead by example, instead of expecting their kids to be perfect miraculously.

  8. Supriti

    This is an amazing post. people tell us to have no expectations from the baby but a parent cant help it. It is natural and u have just thought of prospective career options for him but I have even had dreams of my perfect bahu. When i see some girls in metro or mall, i am like “Yeh mere bete ke liye achi rahegi..yeh nai.. blah…” All of this when my son is just 4yr old. Cliched!! I know but maa ka dil can never stop thinking about kids… Ur views on life are beautifully summed up.
    i totally love the theme and design of ur blog.

  9. Pr@Gun

    Expectations and advice yes we parents sometimes get overprotective. But we should just guide and advice them and let them try, explore and experiment. Nice post ujjwal.

  10. lifewithmypenguin

    Can I join you and your little dreams for your kids, Ujjwal? I do happen to love them too. 🙂 . The concept of nothingness is quite misunderstood. I hope next gen do get a chance to explore its beauty.

  11. vijvihaar

    I loved the starting of the artical. We should allow our kids to live there dreams instead of fullfilling our expectation.

  12. This is exactly what each parent must be thinking of when bringing up a child. We should be a role model not jus to mimic out behaviour but also as a good human beings.
    #thatmadrasmomreads

  13. Rashi Roy

    Absolutely agree and you have expressed it so wonderfully.

  14. Ramya

    I agree with getting bored is fine. When we sit idle, then our imagination is at it’s peak.

  15. aditi

    Nice read!
    I agree that children should be allowed to pursue their goals; being a good human should be the only regulation by the parents.

  16. Surbhi Rastogi

    Each and every word of your post resonates with what I feel as a parent. Empathy, gratitude and believing in the power of your dreams – well-said!

  17. healthiscashblog

    All we should teach our kids is to be happy. Success is a different story and it is affected by many factors but teaching them to be happy is a fantastic trait that can be inbuilt by us and they will be thankful for that later. I loved each and every word of your post.

  18. Archana

    very well explained and picked all the basic attributes, necessary to become a good human being primarily, these are the basic “have ro be” points which every parents dreamt of and trying there best to cultivate these into their children.

  19. Anjali M Naik

    Wondeful write up. As a parent , i could relate to it wholeheartedly. The 6 precious piece of advice are my life mantras as well..especially believing in gratitude.. well penned dear.

  20. Maneet's Blog

    Completely agree with you, parents should let the kids dream what they want to and not impose the burden of their unfulfilled desires on them. And some very helpful advice also you have mentioned.

  21. Disha

    As a new parent, my first mantra has been to avoid helicopter parenting. Too much indulgence into kids life makes it difficult for them to adapt as per the situation. And, I concur with all your points!

  22. Tina Sequeira

    Children learn more by what we do, than what we tell them. Your post is a great reminder of that fact. Good one!

  23. Sweta

    Children just exaggerate what v do and u have mentioned it so well.

  24. jameela

    So well written post, the lines did u ever live a life of a child beggar? Hit me,it’s so true these days kids don’t realise the worth of d things v give them, they always want more. I believe gratitude is a key to a happy life…😀

  25. Neha Sharma

    This is such a lovely post, Ujjwal. We wish to see our kids happy and want them to achieve the best in life. But imposing our own unfulfilled dreams is not the right way. I would love to see my son carve his own path and do the right thing always.

  26. Deepika

    Very well written post Ujjwal. Totally agreed with all the pointers. Parents should set an example first rather than over expecting all the time.

  27. Leading a live example of the above mentioned points does make our kids follow our footsteps… great write up

  28. Snigdha

    Loved this post ujjwal .. I could relate to your points.. Parents should give the free done to their kids to choose the path ..

  29. jhilmildsaha

    Its important for us as parents to set a good example to our kids so that they look up to us.

  30. MeenalSonal

    Great pointers in the post Ujjwal. Yes it is definitely our children choice to select their profession in life and at the end of the day what we want is our child to be good human being where happiness surround them.

  31. TheMomSagas

    Such a lovely post. I would have similar pieces of advice to give to my kids and I agree as parents its best to lead by example for kids

  32. romagptasinha

    That’s beautifully penned buddy I could resonate with most of your thoughts

  33. Neha Jain

    I totally agree with you on this as I too believe kids should explore and grow the way they want to do.. putting our expectations stops their own thinking and in a way we loose their creativity

  34. Tina Basu

    that’s what i tell my son, my dreams are mine, i will work for them, you should make your own dream and work towards it

  35. Kavita Singh

    YOu wrote this so beautifully Ujjwal, I absolutely loved reading this. Dreams are beautiful and very personal, I always tell my kid to dare to dream and work towards it because at the end of the day that’s what brings happiness in our lives.

  36. Papri Ganguly

    What an wonderful read it is. Leading a healthy lifestyle is most important for all of us.

  37. Papri Ganguly

    What an wonderful read it is. Leading a healthy lifestyle is most important for all of us.

  38. Prerna Wahi

    It’s a great post and I loved the fact grant you have included “finding true love” in the list as well. An underrated but important tip for our children.

  39. Prerna Wahi

    It’s a great post and I loved the fact grant you have included “finding true love” in the list as well. An underrated but important tip for our children.

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