Yes, you read it right. However, I would request you to hold on, and read till you pass your judgment on me, for being a bad mother. I love my children very much. They are a part of me. I love them, adore them and do every possible thing on earth to keep them happy and comfortable.
We all are on many mom/women groups on social media, and there we see women rarely talking about happy marriages, marital bonds, but they are ostentatiously talking about how they avoid being close to partners physically as well as emotionally as they are neck deep into motherhood.
I sometimes want to jump into the discussion and say what I sincerely do and feel about all that, but I fear that I’d be lynched, literally, for being the worst mother.
But the truth is, I don’t just desire my husband every bit, as much as the day we met 15 years ago. I honestly love him more than my children.
I love my kids, but I’m not in love with them. The definition of love is not the same as the relationships we are considering are different. I revolve around my kids all day, but still the center of my universe, remains the man, because of whom I became a happy mother.
I love to play with my daughter, to bathe her, to comb her curls, to read her stories and take her to the park. Most of all, I just wanted to soak up that lovely baby scent and nestle against her soft skin before it is all gone.
I chose to work from home as a writer when the load of studies increased on my son. I wanted to give him all the attention a pre-teen child needs in today’s internet-savvy environment, where a lot of information is thrashed upon us and kids surely need a filter on that. They want us to listen and laugh at his jokes, correct him when required, understand his tears, and give him strength. They also want us to help him in studies and sometimes even sing a lullaby to put him to sleep too. In short, I do and want to do what every mother wants.
While I relish the time, I spend it wisely with both of them. I’m not head over heels for them as I am for my life partner. It’s his face that calms my anger and anxiety, it’s that smile in his eyes that gives me hope and surety.
I met my husband when I was 18, got married at 22, so half my life I have been with him. I’m still that infatuated teenager when I look at him. I have grown with him from a nervous teenager to what I’m today, and we both invented and reinvented each other and ourselves. Our world has grown and changed together.
We also had fights, arguments like every other couple, but how do we handle it and if the ‘Ego is more important’ or ‘relationship’s the key’ decision to be taken every time. T
The connection and longevity give the edge why I love him more than I love my offspring. Whenever I’m confused, lost, and indecisive, I just turn to see him by my side, always. I can’t imagine any joy without my husband.
My Husband helps me with cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids. He is a really hands-on dad. I have written about that in one of my earlier blogs.
I’m sure he sees me and feels exactly the same about me. So how can it be wrong?
A positive, happy and healthy relationship can guarantee a healthy, confident and positive upbringing for our children. As we all know kids follow what they see, not what they hear, so why not set ourselves as an example in front of them in their growing up years.
Children observe and see how we talk to each other, how do we react and interact, how do we respect each other. I wish my kids to choose their life partner wisely. I will tell them not to settle for anything less than what they saw when they looked at me looking at their father.
Today they are young, after a few years they will go for higher studies, then get jobs and move ahead with their own beautiful lives, so then we will be back to square one, just two of us. How would one feel to live with a stranger who actually is not a stranger but with time and by incorrect prioritization at the right time has gone far, and there is a huge distance now?
This is the right time, and one of the responsibilities we have as a mother to teach our kids to have a happy household.
What more could any loving mother want for her beloved children?
Do share your views. I am sure few might strongly disagree with my thoughts, would like to know what and why you think is more important for you.
It’s amazing to have someone to encourages every thing you do. Evolving is something not everyone is good at. God bless you both.
I really like your story. You have described yours and your husband’s story in a beautiful way..
That’s a thoughtful post. There is nothing to disagree about it. Every relation is beautiful and you have to prioritize as per your liking.
I loved the post specially the end of post was so amazing. i believe a happy family is sum of so many factors and there is no boundary line about how much love for whom. it is all about taking care of each other’s feeling as well as show mutual love, respect and understanding for each other. if we have that family elements in family, we will create a happy atmosphere and loving family.
I completely second your view. Parents invest a lot in their children, often neglecting their own relationship and themselves in the process. Eventually children grow up and lead their own lives and at such times some couples realize how far they have drifted away from each other.
I somehow never really thought about this.Like apples and oranges.Couldnt really compare.My hubby is a friend since college so there’s that !
Such a beautiful post dear. You describe your relationship with your husband in such a romantic way. I really adore your story. Our love for kids is totally different, it involves a lot of care and they depend on us. A good husband is your true friend, lover, and sometimes they protect us like our parents.
I loved the way you narrated your side of the story and it’s so true! Its one thing raising good kids and it’s another to lose your life behind raising good kids.
Such a beautiful story and marriage you have! Yes, kids are important but never at the cost of your partner. Where on one front we’re investing, on the other front we’re relishing being pampered and loved like we do.
What a beautiful balanced bond you share with your family. Agree every relationship has it’s own existence and charm. And kids are important but it can not overpower the love for husband
How beautifully you have penned down your views and I totally agree with each and every point of yours. Even I can say that I love my husband more than my kid because he is the only one who completes me on a different level, his love & support keeps me afloat when I feel like drowning, he’s the reason I keep on going with a smile on my face.
That’s such a heartfelt post. You have now made me ponder whom do I love the most. I always used to say my kids, but on second thoughts it is my hubby who is the reason I have my lovely kids. He will always be on the top of the list.
A pleasant journey with husband is really a gift. The real love and care is always hidden in the respect he deserves. The biggest support of life – husband.
This has always been my stand, my husband is my priority over anything. Only a happy household can raise a happy child. I absolutely loved reading this post.
oh for sure we need to present a correct idea of happy households but many times between couple and as a family, members become reckless of their actions and reaction which create an impact on the kids.
Wow! This is a refreshing read. I honestly loved your take on marriage and your relationship with your husband. May your love grow like wildflowers.
Totally agree!! Kids grow and have their life of own, of course, we will have our presence , but our spouse will be there at every step of the way
Very well crafted post Ujjwal, each word has its complete aura on this topic. Yes if the relationship between husband and wife is loving and smooth then the house is beaming with happiness.
This is so true, you have penned it down pretty well. I am at that stage that I really love my child more than anyone else on this earth. It’s not that I don’t love others in the family. But I am choosing to love my little one right now because he is still quite small!
What a post Ujjwal and I come from the same school of thoughts. On my eyes from
all those which I hve read this is one of your best works
What a post Ujjwal and I come from the same school of thoughts. On my eyes from
all those which I hve read this is one of your best works
That’s true love between you and your husband. And he is your first love in life that is with you forever. Mothers love kids sometimes more than other family members.
I so much agree to whatever you have written …I can so relate to this …the bond is always special and I really loved this piece of writing of yours!!
Your love for your partner comes through this post. With every phase, we evolve but the bond is special and will always be.