Dear Pari,

Yes, that’s what I thought I will call you. I am your mother, so helpless and unfortunate that I am never going to hold you in my arms. Your soft, small and warm hands, your big beautiful eyes and innocent smile, I won’t get to see anything.

Your dad and grandmother have decided that they will not let you see this world. I am sorry baby, but what can I do? I must do everything as per their wishes, otherwise they will throw me out of the house and your dad will get remarried, then what will happen to your elder sisters. Yes, you have an elder sister, I m sure you would have been as beautiful and hardworking as she is. She in fact is very excited to know that she is going to get a sibling soon. But your grandmother wants a boy, she says a boy only can take care of his parents and can take our family name ahead. The way they treat your sister is bad and you will have same fate if you are born. So, tomorrow morning we are going to the unknown clinic, where I will lose you. You are not alone, its common in our region. Last month my friend Bharti has also gone through the same. People are getting education but are not learning any wisdom from it.

As you are growing in my tummy, sometimes I feel you moving, sometimes I feel as if you are speaking to me. You want to know about your mom, tell me about you. You remind me how mischievous you were going to be, you understand when your mom is tired you should not bother her. You already are a cooperative child, a good baby and look at me I can’t even be a courageous mother and fight the system. It’s not that I didn’t try to speak to your dad and grandmother, but they have left me no option. I know you can hear me that why I am writing you this letter.

Is there really no way, that I can save you? Today I am not sure if I run away from here will my parents take me back? Because they care more about society than their own child. Am I becoming like them? Am I worried about myself and letting you be sacrificed? No, I don’t want to be like them. I must figure out a way to keep you safe, but how? You should be inside my womb at least for 6 more months to be healthy and grow well. I am getting desperate now, can I really save you or I am just doing a wishful thinking? You know dear I work as a didi in a day-care, everyday so many babies I handle with care as if they are my own and look what am I going to do with my own flesh and blood.

I must pick up all the savings that I have along with your elder sister and without wasting time I should run away from here to my day-care owner madam, Rachna madam. Rachana madam is also a social worker, she teaches kids in slums and does a lot of work for poor. She is educated and understanding, I am sure she will help me. Yes, I will save you. I will not burden myself with societal taboo, that what will people rather I will give both my daughters a safe and good life. I will make them educated and good human beings. Pari, I your mother is going to be brave. I am not going to repent like bharti, I am going to see this world with you and not without you.

Your brave mother,

Sumati