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Where Are All The Toppers Of Your Class Today?

“Padhai ke liye baitho”, “You are not getting good marks”, ”With these grades you won’t get anything in life”, ”Don’t be a failure” not only these but many such things we keep saying to our kids, though we understand this would dampen their spirit of childhood and even we don’t feel good after that. So if it makes everyone unhappy, then why do we have to do it?

There is no problem in the teaching technique, but it is in the process of evaluation, no matter how many co-curricular activities are encouraged in schools the child is still evaluated on the grades or marks in studies only. I completely agree that studying, getting a job and having a comfortable lifestyle is the easies way to live life because any detour from this requires a lot of dedication and handwork from parents as well as the child.

PTM is one of the scariest proceedings to attend every quarter for most of the parents, sometimes I even to tend to call it “Parents Torture Meeting”. Because no matter what the child does in class or how he performs the teachers generally highlight on the negatives of the child rather than highlighting and encouraging the positives, No one talks beyond grades, if you have met a different teacher, I must say your child is in best hands.

I have this one thought always in my mind, that when we were student in school, college, graduation there were few kids who were very good in studies, some were average, and some were poor but if you see them, meet them today everyone is doing good for themselves, no one is dying of hunger or begging on streets. So why so much pressure on kids to study and score A1? I personally know few of my batchmates in engineering who cleared it in 6-7 years and yet are sitting in multinational companies abroad. How you perform in interviews, group discussions or meetings has nothing to do with how much marks you scored in physics or engineering drawing.

As a kid I was very studious, I don’t understand if a student doesn’t like to study then what are they supposed to do, I used to compare my son’s grades and scored with mine and used to get disappointed, then one day I had my Eureka!! The moment when I realized studying can open your mind and help in analytical thinking but what makes you a better and complete person is the overall growth of personality.

We are running behind our kids, forcing them to study, participating in co-curricular etc, but do we ever help them understand themselves better, do we help them know what’s their hobby? Passion? What is that one thing that they are ready to walk that extra mile without being pushed? Are we not expecting a fish to climb a tree? Putting every child thru the same grind eventually grinds the child’s personality and freedom.

My son is very naughty, not keen on studies, but he is emotional, he can empathize and relate to people he doesn’t even know and can feel their pain. He is excellent with pets and young children. This quality might not help him secure a top rank in his class but that surely helping him open up to himself. Once he knows who he is and what’s his calling rest will fall in place automatically.

On the beaming nigh of Diwali, everyone was happy and festive mood and I spotted my son standing and crying in the balcony, the anxious mom in me reached him to know what is wrong, my poor boy was seeing a man who got out of his car was bursting crackers all alone, that made him so sad that among such festivities there are many lonely people, and he suggested and asked what we can do for them. I love this human aspect more in my boy than his grades.

He likes to cook, he is the only boy in a batch of 30 students in his SUPW- culinary skills. On weekends he treats us with is Pancake and papdi chaat recipes. Now is the time when most of the industry domains are getting above gender gap, our kids have a whole new world to explore.

I know one of my college junior who has dedicated her life to her daughter’s lawn tennis dream, both the parents are doing everything to keep the dream of the child alive, right from getting on the court at 5AM in the morning to staying abroad where the international lawn tennis tournaments are going on, it’s not easy considering they also have work and family to manage. But without parents sacrifice the child doesn’t grow. It’s not just about showing them the path but walking along them thru thick and thin. They don’t bother about her grades and attendance in school. I truly want their dream to come true.

What’s is your child’s special ability? It might not be as quantifiable as singing, dancing or sports. It might be as subtle as being generous, courteous, empathetic, it might now be discovered yet but at least we can teach them how to unfold the secrets of life. Stand with your child when they are nobody, that will help them become somebody once they grow up.

This Post Has 17 Comments

  1. Smitha N

    Seriously we parents should also focus on positive things abt kids.. More than pointing out the mistakes.. A very well written post.. .

  2. Alpana Deo

    Such a touchy and thoughtful post Ujjwal. I am of the same thoughts that not everyone is academically bright. Their area of interest, strengths might be different. We should see them as an individual and respect their individuality and their strengths. By undermining their talents, we are putting a wrong notion in their mind.

    1. Varsh

      This is such a relatable post! Often in the race to get good marks we forget to appreciate the small things that make us unique. If only is something I think a lot. Not with my kids though. I’ll make sure they follow their heart.

  3. Surbhi Prapanna

    Such a thought provoking post ujjwal.. unfortunately we lived in a society that puts so much emphasis on good grades and great marks. In fact, our system follow the same thing where we all part of rat race since our childhood. I completely agree with you, each child is unique and has some amazing qualities. I always keep this factor in mind, for girls. Like my elder one speak so well and I wish that she made her carrier in same field.. but at the end, I will respect her decision and will agree with her choices and decision.

  4. Pragnya Mishra

    Some food for thoughts for all. Most of us are conditioned to assume that studies are priorities in life and other strengths of a child are often neglected. I echo your thoughts Ujjwal, as a parent we ought to understand our child and strengthen their strength.

  5. Preeti Chauhan

    You touched a chord there Ujjwal ! Unflinching support is what we all need to give us the zeal and motivation to follow our dreams and believe in ourselves.

  6. Deepika

    You are right, it shouldn’t expect that every kid would be excellent in studies or a class topper. I appreciate the quality of your son that he is sensible enough to notice other issues.

  7. Deepa

    I love this post. This is what I believe in completely. Parents need to understand this that a kids capability can’t be measured just be marks or grades.

  8. Gurjeet Chhabra

    My kid is senstive emotional, love jokes and try to be funny.

  9. MeenalSonal Mathur

    Yes we al need to look beyond marks. I also don’t stress upon marks plus the ability of child needs to be enhanced if they show interest in any particular field. My daughter is avid reader, and I like the way she sees the world through books.

    1. Ujjwal Mishra

      That is so beautiful, this is one of the bet hobbies and great way to learn

  10. Niharika Chatterjee

    Despite all the awareness, parents still put kids on pressure. Parents do need to look pass through just the numbers

    1. Ujjwal Mishra

      completely agree

  11. Dr Bushra

    That’s eye opening and motivating post every parent should read. Indeed parent should support kids in achieving their goals

    1. Ujjwal Mishra

      That’s a huge complement doc. Thanks.

  12. Surbhi

    Your blog title caught my attention and truly made me think for a while. You’re absolutely right to point out that it’s our job as parents to realise the right potential of our child. Good article!

    1. Ujjwal Mishra

      thanks surbhi 🙂 yes we all know parenting in not a easy thing

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