“Padhai ke liye baitho”, “You are not getting good marks”, ”With these grades you won’t get anything in life”, ”Don’t be a failure” not only these but many such things we keep saying to our kids, though we understand this would dampen their spirit of childhood and even we don’t feel good after that. So if it makes everyone unhappy, then why do we have to do it?

There is no problem in the teaching technique, but it is in the process of evaluation, no matter how many co-curricular activities are encouraged in schools the child is still evaluated on the grades or marks in studies only. I completely agree that studying, getting a job and having a comfortable lifestyle is the easies way to live life because any detour from this requires a lot of dedication and handwork from parents as well as the child.

PTM is one of the scariest proceedings to attend every quarter for most of the parents, sometimes I even to tend to call it “Parents Torture Meeting”. Because no matter what the child does in class or how he performs the teachers generally highlight on the negatives of the child rather than highlighting and encouraging the positives, No one talks beyond grades, if you have met a different teacher, I must say your child is in best hands.

I have this one thought always in my mind, that when we were student in school, college, graduation there were few kids who were very good in studies, some were average, and some were poor but if you see them, meet them today everyone is doing good for themselves, no one is dying of hunger or begging on streets. So why so much pressure on kids to study and score A1? I personally know few of my batchmates in engineering who cleared it in 6-7 years and yet are sitting in multinational companies abroad. How you perform in interviews, group discussions or meetings has nothing to do with how much marks you scored in physics or engineering drawing.

As a kid I was very studious, I don’t understand if a student doesn’t like to study then what are they supposed to do, I used to compare my son’s grades and scored with mine and used to get disappointed, then one day I had my Eureka!! The moment when I realized studying can open your mind and help in analytical thinking but what makes you a better and complete person is the overall growth of personality.

We are running behind our kids, forcing them to study, participating in co-curricular etc, but do we ever help them understand themselves better, do we help them know what’s their hobby? Passion? What is that one thing that they are ready to walk that extra mile without being pushed? Are we not expecting a fish to climb a tree? Putting every child thru the same grind eventually grinds the child’s personality and freedom.

My son is very naughty, not keen on studies, but he is emotional, he can empathize and relate to people he doesn’t even know and can feel their pain. He is excellent with pets and young children. This quality might not help him secure a top rank in his class but that surely helping him open up to himself. Once he knows who he is and what’s his calling rest will fall in place automatically.

On the beaming nigh of Diwali, everyone was happy and festive mood and I spotted my son standing and crying in the balcony, the anxious mom in me reached him to know what is wrong, my poor boy was seeing a man who got out of his car was bursting crackers all alone, that made him so sad that among such festivities there are many lonely people, and he suggested and asked what we can do for them. I love this human aspect more in my boy than his grades.

He likes to cook, he is the only boy in a batch of 30 students in his SUPW- culinary skills. On weekends he treats us with is Pancake and papdi chaat recipes. Now is the time when most of the industry domains are getting above gender gap, our kids have a whole new world to explore.

I know one of my college junior who has dedicated her life to her daughter’s lawn tennis dream, both the parents are doing everything to keep the dream of the child alive, right from getting on the court at 5AM in the morning to staying abroad where the international lawn tennis tournaments are going on, it’s not easy considering they also have work and family to manage. But without parents sacrifice the child doesn’t grow. It’s not just about showing them the path but walking along them thru thick and thin. They don’t bother about her grades and attendance in school. I truly want their dream to come true.

What’s is your child’s special ability? It might not be as quantifiable as singing, dancing or sports. It might be as subtle as being generous, courteous, empathetic, it might now be discovered yet but at least we can teach them how to unfold the secrets of life. Stand with your child when they are nobody, that will help them become somebody once they grow up.